Sarah Ann: Why Girls Give Fake Numbers
I've seen a lot of advice out there about what guys ought to do to get a girl's number. They provide them all kinds of openers and methods to use, all with the goal of getting the coveted number. However, what these "gurus" don't tell their clients is that most of those numbers are going to getting will be absolutely useless.
Walk of Khan
Yes- conversing with a girl with the express purpose of getting her number is totally useless.
USELESS.
What am I talking about? First, most attractive women are approached on a consistent basis throughout the day. All of those guys speaking with her are trying to get her number too. You have the disadvantage of being one guy out of many who has spoken with her that day, so chances are she may not even remember you. Have you ever called a girl back using this kind of intro "Hi, it's John. Remember me, we met yesterday neighborhood?" If you have to start a phone conversation this way, you're already dead within the water. You subconsciously understand that you haven't done enough to differentiate yourself all the other suitors, so you have to spend the first part of the call explaining who you are- this is NOT attractive.
Second, women hand out their numbers for most reasons that often have little regarding genuine interest. She may be giving you her number for the following reasons:
1. Politeness- she knows there is no potential here, but she does not want to hurt your feelings by turning you utterly there on the spot
2. Curiosity- she's not really interested, but she's curious should you really will call
3. Vanity- she just wants to have the phone ringing free with potential suitors. She's no intention of ever collecting the phone and her sole objective is always to have the phone ringing in order that she can "complain" to her girlfriends about how exactly annoying it is that guys call her all the time
4. Cruelty- she will either give you a fake number or even the real one, knowing she won't grab, just to pick up your hopes, then dash them cruelly down. This is more rare compared to previous examples, but nevertheless happens.
Further, she could be somewhat interested throughout the conversation, but then after a day or a day or two have elapsed, has gradually lost interest, in order that by the time you call, she is no longer interested.
So what is a guy to do?
Answer- don't concentrate on getting the number. Ignore the number. FORGET IT.
Instead, concentrate on building genuine attraction and rapport while you're talking to her. What you are looking for is the "hook". Exactly what is a hook? It's when you're conscious the girl is genuinely interested in you, when you've got her "hooked". In other words, don't be outcome-focused. Instead, approach the woman with the intention of observing her. Focus on qualifying HER. Be genuine and express interest, then relate with her by telling stories after which having her reciprocate. When the conversation isn't running nicely, don't worry. She's not the right girl for you, you disqualify her, and you move on to the next one. Most girls will not be interesting to you or considering you. That's fine. Why can you want to call them anyway? Don't spend time, talk to another one.
Once you have gotten a good vibe having a girl, don't back away. If it's during the day time, let her know you want to go get yourself a cup of coffee or something and ask her to come with you. If you're vibing, you want to keep your momentum going so that you will are memorable to her.
Most critical thing to remember- when doing a quick cold approach, the chances of you getting a return call improve greatly if you're able to make yourself MEMORABLE. Telling an excellent story, going to a different location, and having an extended conversation are great ways to make yourself memorable.
When you realize things are going well, ask for the number casually. When you get it, keep going with your momentum. Don't simply take the number, excuse yourself by leaving as if you accomplished your mission. That simply weirds girls out and ensures they are think you were only interested in getting a number, as opposed to getting to know them genuinely.
Walk of Khan
Remember, if you want to make sure the girl accumulates the phone or calls you back, connect with her genuinely being a person, make yourself memorable, to make the objective of actually obtaining the number an afterthought and you may find yourself much more successful.
Walk of Khan
Yes- conversing with a girl with the express purpose of getting her number is totally useless.
USELESS.
What am I talking about? First, most attractive women are approached on a consistent basis throughout the day. All of those guys speaking with her are trying to get her number too. You have the disadvantage of being one guy out of many who has spoken with her that day, so chances are she may not even remember you. Have you ever called a girl back using this kind of intro "Hi, it's John. Remember me, we met yesterday neighborhood?" If you have to start a phone conversation this way, you're already dead within the water. You subconsciously understand that you haven't done enough to differentiate yourself all the other suitors, so you have to spend the first part of the call explaining who you are- this is NOT attractive.
Second, women hand out their numbers for most reasons that often have little regarding genuine interest. She may be giving you her number for the following reasons:
1. Politeness- she knows there is no potential here, but she does not want to hurt your feelings by turning you utterly there on the spot
2. Curiosity- she's not really interested, but she's curious should you really will call
3. Vanity- she just wants to have the phone ringing free with potential suitors. She's no intention of ever collecting the phone and her sole objective is always to have the phone ringing in order that she can "complain" to her girlfriends about how exactly annoying it is that guys call her all the time
4. Cruelty- she will either give you a fake number or even the real one, knowing she won't grab, just to pick up your hopes, then dash them cruelly down. This is more rare compared to previous examples, but nevertheless happens.
Further, she could be somewhat interested throughout the conversation, but then after a day or a day or two have elapsed, has gradually lost interest, in order that by the time you call, she is no longer interested.
So what is a guy to do?
Answer- don't concentrate on getting the number. Ignore the number. FORGET IT.
Instead, concentrate on building genuine attraction and rapport while you're talking to her. What you are looking for is the "hook". Exactly what is a hook? It's when you're conscious the girl is genuinely interested in you, when you've got her "hooked". In other words, don't be outcome-focused. Instead, approach the woman with the intention of observing her. Focus on qualifying HER. Be genuine and express interest, then relate with her by telling stories after which having her reciprocate. When the conversation isn't running nicely, don't worry. She's not the right girl for you, you disqualify her, and you move on to the next one. Most girls will not be interesting to you or considering you. That's fine. Why can you want to call them anyway? Don't spend time, talk to another one.
Once you have gotten a good vibe having a girl, don't back away. If it's during the day time, let her know you want to go get yourself a cup of coffee or something and ask her to come with you. If you're vibing, you want to keep your momentum going so that you will are memorable to her.
Most critical thing to remember- when doing a quick cold approach, the chances of you getting a return call improve greatly if you're able to make yourself MEMORABLE. Telling an excellent story, going to a different location, and having an extended conversation are great ways to make yourself memorable.
When you realize things are going well, ask for the number casually. When you get it, keep going with your momentum. Don't simply take the number, excuse yourself by leaving as if you accomplished your mission. That simply weirds girls out and ensures they are think you were only interested in getting a number, as opposed to getting to know them genuinely.
Walk of Khan
Remember, if you want to make sure the girl accumulates the phone or calls you back, connect with her genuinely being a person, make yourself memorable, to make the objective of actually obtaining the number an afterthought and you may find yourself much more successful.